Monday, August 10, 2009
!!Birthday!!
I am turning another yr older le.
sweet 16
Have been anticipating for it.
Not that i want to get older.
but the joy of celebrating with friends and all.
However, i am not excited about it anymore. its going to be my birthday in a few mins. Thanks to those who wish me.
Birthday is a day to be smiling wholeheartedly. Presents are nt a must.
I just want thank God that he gave me a place in this earth and met with many wondeful ppl.
Secondary 1, birthday was at my old house, with buffet and friends coming plus relatives. It was kinda enjoyable.
Secondary 2, birthday was at chalet, with mark,friends and family and all. It was kinda fun.
Secondary 3, birthday was with sinyi and eileen. had buffet at suntec. It was simple and sweet.
My desire bdae celebration for this yr was to spend time with my boyfriend. Eating buffet together, having a fun time, feel the nice feeling of juz spending the time wif the person i love. It would be really great.
However, Due to i cannt decide where to go, fickle mindedness, childishness, i called off my whole plan. I thought it would be great if my boyfriend were to decide a place and we go together, but he want me to decide. i cant decide therefore, i call off everything.
I should reflect and be more serious at times and not so childish. i am 16 yet i am still like tat. I nvr throw tantrum, becoz u cant decide is juz tat i cant decide wad place therefore i called off.
its past 12am. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF..
Hope God let me wish and answer all my prayers.
Thats all
Labels: EMO-16- BDAE.
11:54 PM Remember me! Y
Saturday, April 4, 2009
okokk i decided nt to be emo liao...
i wan live a happy life..
trying my best to stay out of being emo kkz
9:14 PM Remember me! Y
Saturday, March 28, 2009
i seriously have no idea wad shit i am into nw..
i have many reasons why everything is happening..
i seriously wan to let it go..let myself free..
am trying to...
i have broken up wif many friends le..cuz they are nt the friends i wan..
ya i noe i am stubborn wif words..bt when ppl say it actually goes into my brains..
it will process somehw..
there are many things to think abt
i am a girl who cares abt her friends instead of herself first..i protect my friends first rather than myself..
i have suffered alot b4..and i let it go..
maybe maybe i haven get over mark..
bt i am trying to..
mark is the one that changes my life..cuz of him i am a better person or nt i will be worse..
yea i am trying to pick myself up..is nt tat i am nt..
i am putting my best le....
i don noe la..wan change bt its difficult to do than to say..
haiiz..i am vexed..i cant slp..i am hungry yet no appetite..
haiiz..
dying soon i guess..
thinking through wad ivan had say..yea it sound logical..and yeaa of cuz wadever he say cn consider rite bt haiiz..i wan changggeee...bt hw..i change alot this yr compared to last yr..cuz i gt my goal in my mind..nt tat i did nt change..i will continue to change..
haiiz..
2:27 AM Remember me! Y
Friday, March 20, 2009
its kind of frustrating..
ppl brking up..ppl sad..many many stuff which mak mind go bonggg
sometimes i wonder why ppl cn lice life to the fullest and some cant
focus focus stress stress will lead to crazinesss..
step ahead and view the society
i wonder why ppl cant juz face the fact
why cant some ppl juz forgive and forget
without forgiveness, everyone is a offender..
haiiz..
life juz sux
10:40 AM Remember me! Y
Thursday, March 19, 2009
to tat someone
u should noe who am i toking abt
anyway
yeaa..u cn dn forgive me..bt u cant say i am wadever..yea..
do u noe me well? if u do u will nt be angry over such things..
plus i nvr tell her off in her face..ok..i merely said i promise my friend le..and ya..
wad makes u think i shouted into her facE? webcam? oh ya wadeevr u see through the webcam may nt be true ok.. my actions are like tis de..
anyway for u i write abt my life kkz..i am nt ashame of telling ppl in the net wad type of family i got
cuz i feel tat in this life.. there are ppl similar to me
i have once a very great family..dad cared for me..mum cared for me..weekends we will go to the club hse and have our dinner..aint tat a good family..no quarrels..wonderful i got..
things change when i was pri 6 guess this is fate bah..mum found out abt dad having an affair wif a a lady for almost 10 years..we cant see he have cuz he has been taking care of this family nicely..as well as giving us the best...
sec 1 wasnt a great yr..things fall apart..yeaa practically..no more east coast park..no more wonderful weekend..no more family time..coming hm in an empty hse..do work eat and slp..
and computer..get scolded for no reason cuz mum is stress and all sorts and abt tat woman my dad gt..bt i manage to pull through my sec 1
sec 2 if it wasnt mark..i really think i might be worse off nw..cuz he showed me tat his dad is the same and tat i gt to leave wif it..i become more like a girl bt at the same time i am nt at all happy..bt no one knows cuz parents dn tok no family weekend..felt miserable..tat yr wif mark was great..
sec 3 tings turn wild..dad girl wan a brk off..and dad was wild crazy..wanted to suicide and stuff..and tat i noe i gt to have some rights..i am stress off..i didnt wan to study at all..plus my brk up wif mark..and all sorts of stuff i really do nt noe wad to do..i struggled through couselling, through forcing myself to stay and as well as turn to God..dad was admited in hospital for 2times..and wanted to die for 3 times..
i really dn noe wad to do..i become short temper..cuz i really dn noe wad to do..and tat i wan stuff to get corrected..
nw the only communication is through shouting at one another at hm..and tat dad will shout at mum..shout at me..i will in turn shout bak cuz..
i need to bring out the truth..is nt i wanna shout all this..
i am juz 16 and i been through things which i should nt..i have tried my best to pull it tgt bt cant..
mainly our communication is juz shouting at one another..showing face to get stuff right..it is juz no longer the same
TO tat person
do u noe nw why i shouted..do u noe wad kind of life i am going through do u noe hw i become like this..juz read and put urself in my shoe and u will understand me..
is nt wad i wan kkz..i am trying to change bak..bt my family is juz like tis..seriously i guess u have a gt a better life than me and tat ya u argue wif ur parents..arguing is oso shouting at them..haiiz..
5:05 PM Remember me! Y
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
many ppl do not noe me well
some say i throw tantrum they see le gt a bad impression on me
some say i kip throwing temper..
yes yes..i am always
do u noe hw stuck up my life is?
haiiz
yaya eevryone does have and why ppl don get angry
some angers i have placed in my heart for long time le
i gt a line, everyone have..
haiizz
i donnoe
i juz ffelt tat plz understand me sometimes..nt meant it..
last time want to go out cuz
i really very hungry and tat mum say she will let me go
bt in the end say cannt
haiiz..
is nt i dn noe she care bout me bt juz tat i tot my friend le..
and is like i am prepared for it..
haiiz
and suddenly say cannt go
my friends cme here juz to find me and then like tat
i am 16 i noe hw take care myself..
i oso nt say ton..haiiz
6:47 PM Remember me! Y
Sunday, March 15, 2009
today i dn wan scold ppl le
i juz felt very emo
ppl brk up and so much stuff haiiz
juz nw i gt an urge to go friendster and read the comments i wrote to mark and he wrote to me
when reading i felt very very touched..
to me he has change my life
to be a better person
he took care of me for ard a yr..seriously is my stupidity to nt cherish him
he sweared he wont leave me bt wad to do cuz of my stupidness force him to brk up..
haiiz
i miss the past..the SUKI the SAKAE the JACKPLACE..
the pics we took
the chalet we had
the happy moment we spend tgt
am moving on wif my life nw..bt am a change person
i am nt the old tricia i used to be
haiizz
who cn change me i don noe
i am depress and upset..
it looks like no one cared loved or even understand me..
life sux
12:09 AM Remember me! Y
